Meeting It

Do you remember the TV show "The Addams Family," not bad for a few seasons and then the morbid jokes started getting stale. Then you would remember Cousin It. Meeting the devil would be a lot like meeting Cousin It, I think -- because of all the deception, you wouldn't know what you were looking at, black, white, man, woman, sinister or pleasant. Or maybe Pat on Saturday Night Live. You never found out who or what she/he was, and that bit used to crack me up as much as anything they ever did on that show. Anyway, I was thinking about meeting the devil. ... And I thought it might go a little something like this:

DEVIL: You're fatter in person. You bum, don't you know how to take care of yourself? Go to a Greek gym, a Hellenist trainer, fix you right up. You ought to be ashamed of yourself ... and you got fat not eating good foods, but eating garbage, so inside your body is collapsing from all of the abuse.

ME: Mom?

to be continued