American Satanism, Minstrelsy and the Queen of Sheba

So, you keep up with the news there? You keepin' up with the news? Yeah? Whaddya gonna do? It just happens, like magic beans ... you wake up, and half the world is gone from a mudslide, there are three new countries, there's a new disease called Possum Flu and Angelina is pregnant again. No wonder they call him Brad Pitt. God, man, give it a rest. She used to date Billy Bob Thornton, think about that the next time you get amorous.

And then, speaking of sex, you got the church in an uproar over whether or not this is a Christian nation, when the entire board of the owning company of Random House/Doubleday is German. That's right, my friends. I believe in equal opportunity for all people, all races ... but when you stack the deck, I mean, and you do it with people who have no sense of humor and think they're better than you because of their eyes and hair, who now own your country, along with England and France ... Get ready for the children's pop-up edition of Mein Kampf. It doesn't matter anymore, because the powerful men in England and France are fascists, too. Could you pick a worse political position to take than the one that would have steamrolled your country if it not been for the sacrifice of Americans. And now, the European satanists want to collect the debt we owe them. They've already marked up Washington, with various points of buildings in Washington on straight lines that intersect with the Eiffel Tower and places like that. No wonder I hated geometry. It was the devil's favorite subject, apparently. Still is.

I don't know ... what I'm hearing about Ben Franklin and George Washington ... was that they were a little more on the atheistic side of deism, actually more on the satanic side of deism, which oughta be a wakeup call for somebody, whoever's left.

Now if my grandfather were still alive, and he were to hear that what the history books didn't tell us was that the founding fathers were wearing aprons for reasons other than to wipe their hands, it would have been a stroke and not his ticker that would have killed him. The star to those powdered wig, panty-hose wearing freaks, what we would call a star today, was turned upside down dripping with blood. There's you a new image for the Fourth of July. Maybe there are other things symbolic about Old Glory that we haven't given any thought to. There's not a thousand, but there're fifty points of light. And thirteen colonies, thirteen stripes of red and white. Who knows what all that represents in reality. In real life. Lord, there's no telling how many skeletons are gonna fall out of so many closets up in politico country. This is, after all, the revealing, the disclosing. No longer the time of grace, I don't think. As you see things being revealed to help you in making a decision, you won't be accorded as much grace and mercy as have those people who have been reading a flawed, error-riddled, highly edited holy word of God.

That's just me thinking out loud.

I have a rabbi friend who doesn't believe in evil, not in a single entity who represents evil, he just thinks that people make bad choices. Well, with all this precision which has stood the test of time, over three centuries, and now they intend to come over here and say the devil said they could have it ... somebody is calling the shots, rabbi, and has been for a long time. And, of course, we're right on pace for history to repeat itself.

Anyway, whichever way you look at it, the Jews have to come out of this next one smelling like a rose, because they've surely paid their dues, and they keep coming. Beautiful, I say. The last time I looked they were chosen, sort of, anyway, so who would you expect bigots to go after? The Germans proved the Jews point: those who don't want salvation and going to try to kick the shit out of the people who delivered it. And they're holding a losing hand. You see the Ten Commandments? They've been made righteous by their suffering, which is the paradox, which frankly can kiss my ass. I don't like suffering, but I know it's good for me, because I had a Jewish nanny. She was always complaining about something. But she'd work real hard for two hours, and then moan about her back, have us bring her tea, and dare you to mess up anything. And that's not a Jewish thing, when my mom got home real early one day from work, she saw what was going on and gave Golda a raise and a certificate.

No, it's the Christians who get it this time, I think. Why? Look in the mirror, if you're an American the Europeans hate you, and if you're a Christian most Americans hate you. We're the new Jews. I could get used to thatJewish nanny like I was ... yeah, we said grace after meals. I also felt like Golda was hedging her bets, you know? I mean, if she throws up or gets food poisoning or something, she doesn't have to pray. More efficient that way. More just.

Hey, don't talk to be about justice. Cause I won't know what you're talking about. It's the Christians in this Christian nation who are gonna catch hell. Crucifixions wouldn't surprise me. But I pray that doesn't happen, but, you know ... I read the scriptures, I know the story. I'm not a big religious fanatic or anything, not a holy roller or a snake handler or poison drinker ... now I used to be, but that was before I started going to see a doctor. But I believe in God ... hey, the same to you, you fuck.

Yeah, to hear the Europeans and the pagans in this country talk, Jesus was not the the redeemer of the Gentiles, but some bum like everybody else tryin' to make it with your sister.

So, whaddya think about the latest with the Queen of Sheba, huh? She never existed, that's that they're saying. Why they're saying that, I forget, maybe it's because she doesn't have a first name. Her name would be like calling Prince England or something, and, I'm sorry that doesn't make any sense. That whole story has never made any sense to me. First of all, we're talking 1,200 miles to go find out if some guy is smart. There's not a woman ever, now or then, alive, ever, who would do that. My wife won't poke her head into the next room where I sleep and ask my opinion about how she's going to spend my money. Let alone endeavoring to find out how wise I am. I can already tell you that, anyway: Not very damn wise. And how wise could Solomon have been? He couldn't keep his pants up. He kept sleeping with women and becoming seduced with the thrill of going up on a high place and burning some incense. I'll bet you there's more to it than that. Maybe Solomon got into satanism, too. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe he was too wise for that ... and somebody just embellished the story about the Queen of Sheba and Solomon, which would have been a fabrication to begin with, I think, because Queenie never lived.

So why would someone say that the Queen of Sheba had once really lived, when she didn't? Where was she from? Saba or Saban was southwest Arabia, but the trek was made from there through Yemen into Ethiopia. The Abyssinia tribes which the queen was supposed to have ruled is located in Ethiopia. So she's Ethiopian. Why is that of any concern, especially? Other than the fact that Ethiopia is the source of the Nile River, with water flowing from Lake Tana in Ethiopia, but the nation itself where the lake is located sees the water leave them and go to Egypt. And the presence of water guarantees a civilization's success. The lack of water dooms a society. But at one time there were great riches in Ethiopia -- diamonds, gold, onyx. It is the most ancient nation in Africa, the only Christian nation in Africa, the supposed location of the mysterious evangelist king Prester John, which never panned out, and a nation which bears within it a town named Magdala, which is another one of those stories which, curiously, has not been made into a film, or written as a novel. Not even a documentary, I would imagine. If they wanted to blackball such a project ... I suppose they could.

-- Eliakim