Friday, June 20, 2008

Dog Spelled Backwards is God

"God is headed in one way ... and evil is headed in the other." Billy Graham Mason, who had been named after the famous evangelist and satan-worshiping Freemason of the same name, was just about ready to give up. He dropped the stick which he had been using as a prop to represent a continuum. His new pet wasn't listening, and this was going to be a problem, if and when the shit hit the fan, because Mr. Tiptoes, like everybody else, needed to be saved. He needed to understand that he was probably going to heaven after he died, because hell was no place for doggies, but that was not etched in stone, because who could deny that the world was upside down. Plus, there was very likely going to be certain protocol that Mr. T was going to need to honor, such as not lifting one's leg on the pearly gates or any of the fruit trees, especially not the big one in the center, which only had two branches and looked like the last consonant in the Hebrew alphabet. "Billy Graham," as his mother called him, had visions, real ones, and they had all been pointing to the same thing.